Fall Food Withdrawal

Another thing about Fall (don’t worry,there are only a few more months of every post starting this way), is the cooking! Finally I can turn on the stove without having to strip down to my skivvies to prevent heat stroke. You are welcome neighbors and family.

That being said, I may have picked a really shitty time to attack the Whole30.  In case you are unaware of said program; the gist of it is no grains, dairy, legumes (beans for you who don’t want to Google legumes like I had to), dairy or sugar. So, I have been reduced to eating eggs, meat, eggs, veggies, eggs, fruit, eggs and an obnoxious amount of coconuts (oil, butter, milk…).

Truth be told, it is not so bad. I definitely have food aversions coupled with food addiction, making the thought of this really scary. But, for the first time in my life, I feel like I am ready to get down to the root of it.

I am on day 8.  There is nothing really glamorous about the process or really revolutionary for me. It has boiled down to some simple truths about myself that I have just had to accept:

  1. I need to stop eating like I am 22
  2. I need to stop eating shit
  3. I need fuel for my life and the right foods can give me that
  4. I need to be more active

So there it is. This 30-day adventure is meant to jump start putting those truths into action. So far it is working.

Here is some visual on the not-so-glamorous aspects…

I give you Banana Nut Portage

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This was supposed to replace oatmeal. It did not. Not even a little.

HOWEVER, most things have worked awesomely! Because of great friends, I was gifted some great cookbooks and an All Powerful Spiralizer. If you are unfamiliar with a Spiralizer, become family. This is a recipe that uses one, along with a VitaMix. I am pretty sure I have not lived prior to the possession of these two beauties.  After the recipe, I will give some links for you to crack out on as well.

Pesto Zucchini Noodles

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Spiralizer 3-4 medium Zucchini

(you can freeze extra if you want to do more)

Go HERE to learn more about how to spiralize

Fry for about 15 minutes in a tablespoon of coconut oil

(longer to make softer, shorter to keep crunchy)

Make Pesto

combine in this order into high powered blender (ahem, VitaMix) or food processor:

1/3 cup olive oil

2 cups packed fresh basil

1/4 cup pine nuts

2 cloves of garlic

1/4 cup Parm. Cheese (optional, I leave out)

Pinch of salt

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Add some sun warmed tomatoes from your garden and presto pasta BAM

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Now, here are the good links…Got 3 hours to crack out???

Go use your Noodle (see what I did there) and enjoy!!

B

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The Oatmeal Breakfast (aka why I love saturday morning breakfast)

We love oatmeal. It may be a problem.
In of itself, loving oatmeal is not a bad thing. However, as a mother of three who reluctantly does whatever they want from time to time despite my bad ass nature, making and serving said oatmeal is an ordeal.
Here are the instructions so someone can give me when I lose my mind and can no longer function as a member of my family…

  • Start a medium pot of water boiling
  • Add a random amount of oatmeal. If you are a stick-up-you-ass type, go ahead and measure it out according to directions. You are now a Follower.
  • Cook for about a minute. This results in a nice, thick, sticky oatmeal. Just the way I like it. 
  • Spread about half of it on a large plate, put in freezer to cool. 
  • While cooling, toss 4 slices of bread into toaster. 
  • While toast is…um…toasting, start a pot of coffee for yourself. Make it a whole pot, because it typically needs to last about 3 days
  • Once toast is done, butter two for yourself, cut one in 4ths and spread now cooled oatmeal on them for one kid and butter and cut in half for the other. The third kid may yell at you if you give her toast, don’t bother
  • Divide remaining cooled oatmeal into 2 bowls. The other third man out may yell at you if you give her just a bowl of oatmeal, don’t bother.
  • Pour an ungodly amount of brown sugar over all the exposed sticky, tan oatmeal in an effort to hide the fact you are attempting to give your children something good (despite the fact that you are making it decidedly un-good by adding sugar)
  • Place all 456 plates, bowls and cups on the table, return to kitchen, pour a cup of coffee, eat scraps off the counter, return to family eating area, pretend you are at a hipster breakfast place with background noise instead of your own children yelling, eat a entire bowl of oatmeal, two overly buttered pieces of toast in about 3 minutes.
  • If Weekday: run to bedrooms, but out clothes for kids…start the getting ready for school war.
  • If Saturday: Remove youngest from highchair, dust off the sugar from her face and clothes, grab cup of coffee, find couch and stay there for about an hour. 
  • In both scenarios, be sure not to clean up the table. If you do, you will be depriving yourself of the ability for massive amounts of blood to rush to your face every time you step on sticky oatmeal and it gets stuck to your foot, or every time you attempt to scrape dried, hardened brown sugar encrusted oats off the table.

Feel free to use this method, just give me credit. It has taken a lot of sweat and tears to perfect.

Enjoy!
B