Category Archives: Uncategorized

Heat Wave and Public Perception

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When I went out to start my car at the asscrack of dawn to get the kids to school, I was shocked when my eyelashes didn’t immediately freeze to each other like they have been for the past couple weeks. I quickly realized that it was a full 20 degrees! That is 40 degrees warmer than 24 hours earlier

Needless to say, I am wearing shorts. They are Spanx shorts under my jeans, but shorts are shorts.

With the new found freedom of getting fresh air without freezing a lung, comes a huge sense of gratitude. I think that is why I love Minnesota so much. Just when you think you are going to die, Mother Nature swings into our little slice of heaven and lets us know what we were not forgotten by the powers that be. My children’s winter break was so cold, we really did not do much. Not that we normally would, but being stuck inside because we want to and being stuck inside because we need to are two totally different ball games. We all need a PJ day at home, but after 10 in an row, it gets a bit old. 

So school started back up (after 2 holy-shit-its-too-damn-cold-to-let-little-people-stand-outside-for-the-bus No School Days) and I literally skipped around my house. For about 10 minutes. Then I realized I missed the little A-holes. 

Which brings me to the Gratitude part. 

They are awesome kids. We have an awesome life together. It is not all glitter and sugar, laughs and shiny floors, it is often the opposite. The house is never fully clean, the kids are rarely ever happy at the same time (when they are you are guaranteed a Facebook video or picture), food is usually processed, baths are infrequent and precious TV time occurs more then I would like to admit.  

Social media is a great space to vent, brag or over-share. I am guilty of doing them all, and I am not ashamed.  Sitting behind a computer, I have slightly more control over the way I get perceived. I can be a snarky mom, a overwhelmed mom, a professional chef, a super creative talented mom, whatever. I try to be realistic in my posts, but there is no way not to sensor yourself or project a certain image.  The one thing I keep in mind when I am about to post something is will this help another person, now or in the future? Will someone laugh? Will it help another mom see that we are all flawed? Will it help show my daughters that we did have fun despite their accusations? If so, than I will keep posting. 

That being said, I do have something to say to the people who may think I am ungrateful or fake…

Go ahead.

Think away. I am not losing sleep over it. I am not sitting down trying to ensure that my public perception is one way or another. I am trying spread joy and, if need be, awareness. I vent. I bitch. I cry. But I do it to people I trust and that I know will help me move forward. I will share that experience honestly. If you think I am not being honest, just ask. I am a pretty open book. There just isn’t chapters devoted to one issue. 

I ain’t got time for that.

I need a young priest and an old priest…

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Pretty sure I need an exorcist. Something has taken over my body and is making me do crazy things.

I am currently on day 30 of the Whole30. What the hell? 

I bought new tennis shoes and I am excited for my next day in the gym. Wait, what?

I ate some (like, very few some) sugar today (and pretty much everyday this week) and I have had a raging head ache since causing me to continue to try and kick the shit. Who are you?

Here is the kicker, I want to go to all (and there are a lot) of people whom I totally judged for having to modify everything in public because they were on some special food restriction for one reason or another and apologize because I am one of those people now…dammit.

Don’t get me wrong, I will still judge and ridicule, but it will be with a new found assertion because I can mock myself. “God, we are such tools” instead of “you are a tool”. See, much better.

This thing that has invaded my body has not caused any change in its physical appearance and that is not as big of a deal as I thought it would be (further proof that this alien force has messed with my psyche).

It has put on spandex-like materials and entered public areas with other humans like it is no big deal and proceeded to move my body in very unflattering ways (squatting, bending at waist and sticking head up while throwing arms behind my back, laying on my back and kicking my legs, even jogging on a movable strip of rubber?! wtf?!).

It has convinced me that it is okay to watch The Voice and then go to bed with little to no guilt.

The thing has even allowed me to eat a cookie and not feel like I need to go in the bathroom and whip my back with chains, but rather say “mmmm that was good, but I have a headache now and I don’t need anymore”. Those are not words I would say.

And the world hasn’t come crashing down just because my allergies are acting up and I am tired. Only once did I think I had a tumor in my sinuses. That is a flipping miracle,

And my gift to this thing for getting through the whole 30 days without giving up? A new pair of tennis shoes and overpriced workout pants. WHAAAA???? Not an entire cake? Not a whole box of Mike ‘n Ikes? Not even a Diet Coke? Nope. Things that will keep it going.

So now what?

I am going to keep going. I am going to embrace this alien thing inside of me and welcome it into the many personalities I have picked up on my journeys and encourage it to kick the shitty personalities that still remain out.  I am going to go to the gym tomorrow. I am going to make a new egg bake for my breakfast on the go. I am going to grab some more kale tomorrow for my green smoothies. I am going to eat some french fries if I want to (but only if I want to). I am not going to say I can’t have certain things (because I am not one of those people), but I am going to stay way from things that make me fell like less of a rock star.

I might fail. The thing inside of me may not want to fight all the time. I may want to throw in the towel. I may not “look” the way I feel.

And that is okay. This little slice of internet will be here for me to read and come back to.  I can always come back.

But hopefully I will stay.

Up next: How to feed your children shitty ass food while you eat clean and feel great without wondering why they are acting like assholes. (looking for a guest blogger, cause I have no idea)

Fall Curb Appeal

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I woke up this morning freezing my ass off and it was glorious. I love this Weather! The colors, the crisp air, the sound of dry leaves, the ability to wear sleeves without dying of heat, the guiltless cuddle on the couch with a book and a blanket…it is all so good!

This is also a great time to get the house ready for winter.  Whether you are planning on hanging tight this winter or are thinking of selling your house, this time of the year is perfect for planting trees and shrubs for the all coveted curb appeal. It is always my goal to have my home ‘sale ready’, despite the fact that we are not moving any time soon. Keep in mind, it is my goal, if you have been to my home you know that I fall short of that goal 99.5% of the time!

But, it goes without saying, great (or even good) landscaping and natural coverage adds both value and comfort to your home. We planted a maple tree in our front yard in September 2008 and watching it grow with our children and our family has been such a joy! It also provides much needed privacy for our bay window and front door.

If you are selling this fall or winter, a well maintained and structured landscape is usually the first impression buyers get of your home. It is worth the time and cost of updating or maintaining your greenery.

Here are some great resources on Minnesota Fall planting and maintaining:

 Lastly, check out my Fall Landscaping Pinterest Board for inspiration!

Get your booty to Gertens and get planting!

B

12.31.11

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From “1.1.11”

Happy New Year!
I have always made resolutions and I, like most, dismissed them after a few days. This year, I am taking a different approach. Instead of trying to find all the things in my life I want to be different, I am going to attempt to focus on the things I do well and continue to do them.  I would like a more self loving year.
Let’s see how I feel on 1.11.11!

Besides the obvious (to me) typo, I like this approach. While I spent an exorbitant amount of time kicking the shit out of myself emotionally, I am not looking back on this year as a failure, which is my m.o.
The dishes are rarely done, laundry is at a constant state of overflow, my business has a ebb and flow of nothing to everything in my life, the family finances are slightly out of control and I currently have a massive case of end-of-winter-vacation exaustion. That being said, I truly believe this year has been an enormous success.
Case in point, the reason I am so exhausted today is because my kids and my husband have been home for a couple of weeks. The house is filled with bodies, mess and a constant hum of laughter. I like my alone time. The hour of quiet I get in the afternoon before dinner is necessary for me to feel prepared. I have been thrown off my game this week. My normal hyper-control-freak state of being has been replaced with a home filled with laughter, screams of joy, play mess and massive amounts of candy/snack wrappers. This is not a failure. This is a success.
At the end of the day, I love my family, my ever evolving sense of success, the chaos of play and the space my life allows me to reflect.
I will not be listing the things I want to change again this year. I, again, will be focusing my energy on appreciating what I have and following my heart toward my joys.
Peace.

My Ride

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I figure I spend about 15 hours a week in my vehicle.
While it may not seem like a lot, envision everyday piling 3 children into the van, getting one buckled, and waiting a few minutes for the other two to pull their head out of their ass and buckle themselves, drive the 20 minute commute to school, unload said children, return to car and buckle the lone child into her seat.
Then the day varies, but typically includes a few more in and outs with 1 or more kids, the acquiring of some product or 100, the distribution of the please-stop-whining snack, subsequent explosion of said snack all over the back of the van, the daily art project which includes; but it not limited to; glitter, wet paint, glue, streamers and scraps of paper, and the reallocation of articles of clothing left at various locations.
Then we make it home. Most of the procurements of the day get left in the car due to the shortage of hands and willing carriers, with the solemn swear that I will rush back our to get them and the harsh reality that I don’t.
The result: 30-40 random pieces of clothing, 3-5 half drunken cups of coffee, a substantial floor covering of crumbs, art masterpieces stuck to the carpet, wrappers from the weekly chip obsession I have and a smell that may or may not be a rotting animal under a seat.
But, let’s be clear, I love my van. I wish I were better to it. I have named all my cars (Betty, Tina from Chaska…etc) and I am scared to name this one. If I name it, than I would feel guilty for treating it as I do.
So for now I will have to accept it for what it is and vow that someday, god willing, I will be better to it (once I am, it will become Her, says the feminist). Or, I’ll just trade it in for something else and start from scratch.

True Dat.